Increasing Self-Awareness

 

 

Why is it that on any given day, no matter how many good things happen, one bad thing happens and we tend to fixate on that for the rest of the day?

 

Are we simply negative beings?

 

Well in a sense – yes. It is a human tendency to lean towards the negative. And as you can imagine, there’s a reason for that. As per previous articles, this too is an evolutionary trait.

 

A trait called the negativity bias.

 

So why is the bad stuff more important to pay attention to than the good stuff? What is the purpose of this bias?

 

Well, back when we were evolving in the African Savannah, while it was important to remember where the good things were like forageable vegetation and animals to hunt, it was more important to remember where the dangerous things were. Because if you didn’t think it was important enough to remember when and where your predators hunted, well…let’s just say you usually wouldn’t get a second chance to take it more seriously.

 

Now, while negativity bias served us well back when sticks and stones were our only defence, in more modern times it does not benefit us to be as acutely aware of all the negatives in our lives.

 

…so that’s a bit of a bummer for us modern people. What can I say.

 

But, there is some good news (There’s always good news!). We can counteract the negativity bias.

 

Here’s how:

 

 

Rumination

 

Stop the rumination! (Says he, the ruminator extraordinaire…well, I’m not actually as bad these days)

 

To stop or limit ruminating about the negative stuff can be tough, and it’s something that I’ve been working on since I started becoming more aware of my tendency to ruminate. It’s not easy to put the brakes on those negative thoughts that loop around our heads all day. And sometimes we even think it serves a purpose such as preparing us for the worst, but not really. If you want to be prepared for a potential bad outcome then write something down, draw something, paint a painting – or whatever your style is – and then move on.

 

That’s how it’s done. For me I free write for 30 minutes in the morning about whatever’s on my mind. I set my thoughts free.

 

 

Cognitive Reframing

 

Sometimes bad things happen. Stressful things. That’s life right.

 

But there is always something good that can come from the bad.

 

For example, in 2020 I had my events company, and so the pandemic hit me really hard. The result was financial loss and so for the first time in my life I found myself under some financial pressure. Basically, my money ran out a year into covid and – as someone that’s proudly never borrowed money and never asked for any since his early teens – I had to take a loan from the bank.

 

So that’s the bad part in my situation. And I could choose to be angry at the world. I could choose to find someone to blame – to watch some YouTube videos about whose fault it apparently is, and make it a negative thought that I carry around.

 

Or I could choose, as I have, to find the good in it. And for me the good is that I’ve had all that time (consistent seven-day work weeks!) to launch my new career in personal development. It worked out to be much faster than I planned for it to take when I was planning it pre-pandemic.

 

So, my struggle, if we can call it that, isn’t for nothing. Good came from it.

 

 

Savouring Positive Moments

 

Negative events are very easily stored in the subconscious mind. With positive ones, however, we have to work harder.

 

So, whenever you have a positive moment, make a point of contemplating your experience. Take note of how you feel in that moment. And let those pleasant thoughts linger.

 

When you practice savouring positive moments, you tell your brain that that information you’re taking in is important and that it should therefore not be buried too deep or hidden away.

 

…

 

Everyone wants to be happy, but few people actually know how to increase their happiness. Because we’ve been told to look for happiness in the wrong places.

 

So understanding the negativity bias (and many other biological traits such as hedonic adaptation) is how we improve our lives.

 

We improve by becoming aware of how our body and mind function, and making self-development a daily practice.