Learned Helplessness

 

 

What is learned helplessness?

 

Learned helplessness is the behaviour exhibited by a person who has repeatedly had to face a negative experience to the point that they believe there is nothing they can do to avoid it.

 

They get to a stage where they feel they have no choice but to bear the discomfort or pain of the unpleasant experience time after time, even though in reality they could improve their experience or perhaps even remove themselves from the unpleasant experience altogether.

 

For example, as a child, if the school bully constantly says you’re stupid because you don’t do well at school, then you may start believing that you have lower intelligence and therefore stop trying as hard…even though the reality is that you can improve. You then may struggle with learning new skills as an adult, not because you are incapable of learning new skills and improving, but because you have a long-held belief that you’re not very good at learning things.

 

And this is seen in animals too. You may have heard how a full-grown elephant can be restrained using a puny rope tied to a stake in the ground. This is possible because, as a young elephant, it tried many times and had no success so it eventually came to believe that it can’t escape.

 

To put it simply, the elephant and the child have created limiting beliefs for themselves. And in these cases, it results in learned helplessness.

 

In humans learned helplessness generally results in low self-esteem, apathy, chronic failure, sadness, and even physical illness.

 

And, while learned helplessness generally occurs after repeated negative childhood experiences, there could also be another reason that people come to accept their apparent powerlessness…

 

 

Explanatory styles

 

Explanatory styles is how you interpret and explain past experiences to others and to yourself.

 

Because we choose how we frame all of our life experiences, someone with an optimistic outlook will explain something in a more positive light, while a pessimist will generally explain things in a more dreary hopeless manner.

 

And so, this is where people with a pessimistic explanatory style tend to think that their situation is inescapable. They think this way because, as pessimists, they believe that things are naturally bad, therefore moving away from bad towards good is not possible for them.

 

 

How to unlearn learned helplessness

 

Learned helplessness is – to put it simply – a form of conditioning.

 

When we take an action that has a positive outcome, we will want to repeat that action. And through that repetition, we will condition ourselves to believe that we can be successful in our endeavours.

 

Conversely when we take an action and experience negative results – or perhaps no results after much effort – we may try again a few times but eventually we’ll stop.

 

So just as learned helplessness is of course learned, it can be unlearned.

 

Here are two ways:

 

 

Reframing negative situations

 

When I was growing up, money was tight, and so my youthful years were tough at times. 

 

So, now as an adult, I could choose to see my childhood as unpleasant and wasted, or I could find the good in it. I could identify what I learnt from those years – what good came out of it. And in my case what I learnt was how to manage money. I learnt how to earn it and I learnt how to keep it. These money management skills are crucial to a stable life, but are not taught at school…as you very well know. So I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to develop those skills.

 

So now, thinking about my story, can you see how I could have told it to you in a different way? I could have told you a sob story about how I grew up without money and so boohoo – poor me. Sad violin music and teary emoji’s.

 

But all that would do is make me feel stuck in life as I linger on the past, blaming the world for the life that I’ve been given.

 

So no, instead, I have no limiting beliefs. On the contrary – I am empowered. Empowered to be the best that I can be.

 

Adopt an optimistic explanatory style

 

Start to speak about things in a more positive light.

 

When an opportunity is presented to you, find the excitement within that opportunity – practice finding the good instead of scouring for the bad.

 

Doing this will train your brain to always be seeing the opportunities in any situation. And that will change your mindset as to what’s possible for you. It will also change your mindset as what’s possible for others, and you will find yourself expressing excitement when talking to others about their opportunities.

 

So not only will this help you to move away from learned helplessness towards a life with more opportunities, but, as a bonus, people will like you more!